Dear Abby: I want to get back together with a cheating ex-boyfriend – but my kids will disown me

Dear ABBY: I had a five year relationship with a man. We broke up because he was unfaithful.

Although I am willing to forgive and still have feelings for him, my children do not like this man and do not want me to reconnect with him.

My kids say if I do, they don’t want anything to do with me.

Their ultimatum does not seem fair. I’m afraid I won’t fall in love again and I don’t want to be alone later in life.

Should I respect my children’s wishes and forget about a relationship with him, or should I seek outside guidance and advice to see if we can try to be a family, as we originally planned?

I truly feel that he is the love of my life. Nobody is perfect. I’m willing to give it another chance, but I want my kids to accept it.

I don’t know how or if they ever will. What should I do? — TILT TOWARD HIM IN TEXAS

DEAR SIDE: The fear is absolute the worst reasons for reuniting a couple. Your relationship didn’t work out because he is a cheater.

What makes you think this time would be different? There are worse things than being older and alone. There is no guarantee that you won’t meet someone and fall in love.

Your kids don’t like this man for a reason. You wonder if you should seek outside guidance and advice. Speaking as the first person you asked, I’m all for it. Your doctor can refer you to someone qualified.

Dear ABBY: I have fond memories of Christmas since I was a child. I didn’t start to dislike him until I married my second husband.

My parents got old and we celebrated their last Christmas together. Several years have passed.

After that, I really disliked the season and all the crap that went with it. I’ve been trying to like it for the last few years and I’ve been doing all the holiday stuff.

I sent cards, baked cookies, decorated, bought presents – even went to church.

Last Christmas Eve, I just “snapped”. I couldn’t take it anymore. I removed most of the decorations because I couldn’t look at them anymore.

I’m not well, and my boyfriend has been sick all the time. He likes Christmas, so I’ll put some things in for him, not for myself.

Why don’t I like Christmas so much? It’s such a pain in the butt. Maybe you can help me understand my feelings. – SCROOGE IN INDIANA

Dear SCROOGE: Your change in attitude may have been caused by two things. The first would be that, in your mind, Christmas is associated with the loss of your parents and a chapter of your life that is now closed.

Another may be caused by the non-stop hype and commercialization surrounding Christmas that begins right after Halloween.

It might be time to step back and ask your loved one to help celebrate this MEANING of Christmas, instead of decorations. Helping someone – or a family – less fortunate comes to mind.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.